Reaching, Impacting and Disciplining this generation is challenging, yet it is the primary objective of children's ministry. It takes lots of old fashioned commitment, training and good tools to effectively accomplish these goals.
I am passionate about God's Word and the impact it can make on lives, but sometimes helping children fall in love with the Bible is as difficult as getting children to eat their vegetables. When children are really hungry they will eat anything, but with cabinets full of empty snacks and sugary treats, nutritious foods are often left on children's plates. I think How can we help children develop a spiritual appetite in an environment where their lives are so full?
1. Pray.
Children's ministry is not a carnival, a talent show or a spectator event. Children's ministry is introducing children to Jesus and developing disciples. If we are not doing that, then we may have effective baby sitting, but we do not have children's ministry. There can be no ministry without the leadership plugging into the source of ministry- Jesus. That begins with prayer. Make prayer a priority, if you want to make a difference in children's lives.
I see incredible talent in the leadership of children's ministers today, but talent can never replace the need for a dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ. You can have a great children's program with a talented leader and talented staff, but you will never make the life changing impact that God intended until you become a person of prayer.
2. Know your children.
You must lead from where the children are now, not where you want them to be. I have seen so many people in children's ministry talk over children's heads about subjects the adult leader is interested in talking about instead of discovering where the children are now. Can you answer these questions? Where are your children spiritually? What are their needs? What are their interest?
Every group is different. You teach a group of inner city children very differently than you do children from yuppie families. Talk to your children. Survey your children. Listen to them talk to each other. What movies are they watching? What games are they playing? What is their home life like?
I see children's leaders that want to cookie cutter another ministry and make it work in their environment. But a much better choice is to fit the curriculum to the needs of your children and your objectives.
Where do you want to take your class spiritually? As their leader, where are you going spiritually? Where do you want to take them spiritually? What is God leading you teach on?
3. Reach them where they are.
Children are not adults in little bodies. Children's ministry is very different than adult ministry. Your motive is not to train them to act like adults, but help them to fall in love with Jesus. Jesus understood His audience. He talked to the woman at the well about water. He talked to farmers about seed. Use object lesson, stories, puppets and drama-things children love to reach them where they are. Use lots of variety. Keep the segments short, but purposeful. Each object lesson, story etc. should have a common objective. A good curriculum can help you by providing a spring board for creativity.
Children need the basics. Realize that because it is old stuff to you, doesn't mean they already know it. Instead of always looking for a new message, listen in God's presence for His message. Having a message from God makes all the difference in the world.
4. Grab their attention.
Use bright colorful visuals, lots of action, movement and interaction with the children. No one wants to be bored, especially children. Keep your program moving. Use a team of volunteers with varying talents so one person is not in front of the class the entire class.
Curriculum from Let Us Teach Kids comes with set ideas to help you create a thematic atmosphere. Why is atmosphere important? Ask Disney World, McDonald or fine restaurants. It works! It draws people and it is good public relations! A colorful set communicates fun and the value you place on children.
5. Help them to taste and see that God is good.
When my children were young I tried to get them to eat nourishing foods by offering them a variety of foods. I encouraged them with "Try it. You'll like it." I didn't stop when they spit it out, or pushed it around on their plate.
Expose your children to an environment that will lead them into relationship or friendship with Jesus. Depending on where they are spiritually, involve them in prayer time. Let the children lead in prayer. Have a regular time of prayer in your children's service.
Fall in love with the Bible and its author. Express that passion to your students. Ministry is overflow. Let your relationship overflow to your students. No curriculum can do that for you. A good children's curriculum is a priceless tool, but it will never replace leadership that have a passionate relationship with Jesus.
Important things to remember in your children's church.
1. Children are not adults in little bodies.
2. Children are not like jugs to be filled. They are like kittens to be nurtured.
3. Like plants, all children are not the same. You don't water all the plants the same amount or you'll root rot some and deprive the other.
4. Children's church is not for you it is for them.
5. Medicine may be good for them, but unless it taste good, it is awfully hard to get them to swallow it. Your presentation should be palatable.
6. In a class without effective discipline, everyone is punished, especially the teacher.
7. Love opens the gateway to the mind and the heart.
8. Why would anyone want to half do something as important as children's church. Give it your best.
9. Have fun. Make it fun for the kids. Laugh. Let them laugh.
10. Never do it alone. Partner with God. He will only show up where He is a priority.
Friday
KIDS IN CHURCH
Submitted by Gerry Coffey
3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." (SO TRUE!!!)
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
And one particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." (HEY: Trespassing is trash!;-)
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." (Another truism;-)
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." (SO TRUE!!!)
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
And one particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." (HEY: Trespassing is trash!;-)
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." (Another truism;-)
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Kids in Church
My days of quiet contemplation at church ceased three and a half years ago when my first child, Elise, was born. Before we had kids, my husband and I were able to pray with reverence and concentrate on every word of the readings. Now, church is one long hour of multitasking. I pray with one eye on my kids. I listen to the sermon while retrieving granola bars from the floor. I sing along to hymns as I fish children's books out of our backpack. Some weeks, my most worshipful moment is thanking God that my 1-year-old son, Jonah, is intrigued by the new candles up front.
Most of the time, we're willing to go through this inconvenience because it's important to us that we worship as a family. But some weeks I find myself thinking, Maybe we should give up and start shipping them to the nursery.
To help me decide if our efforts to keep our kids in church are worth it, I talked to parents, pastors, and religious educators for their opinions. They were unanimous. "One of the most important parts of parenting is teaching your children how to worship," says Georgene Burt, minister of child education at First Baptist Church of Ellisville, Missouri. "It's hard sometimes, especially if you have a child who's very active. You may even have to realize that you're not going to get very much out of the service. But, remember, like everything else, this stage, too, will pass."
Some Christian educators believe that including children in the worship service is more than just a nice idea; it's essential to their spiritual development. Myra Arnold, who teaches religion to 2- to 6-year-olds at Messiah Episcopal Church in St. Paul, Minnesota, says, "Jesus intended for us to bring children into this celebration. Being part of the community of faith is the basis of us being able to live a Christian life, and children are a part of that community. The 2 1/2-year-olds I teach love church. That seems to be the beginning of their sensitivity to spiritual things."
Even if we firmly believe that our children should participate in the worship service, we often worry about what other people will think. But according to Eric Carlson, pastor of First Lutheran Church in Stoughton, Wisconsin, that's a worry we can let go of. "It may be distracting [for other parishioners] to hear a baby cry or a toddler say something," he says. "But remember that Jesus welcomed the little ones. I often think of the time the custodian told me that it looked like it had been a great Sunday morning because there were so many Cheerios in the pews. He was right."
Making Family Worship WorkWhile worshiping as a family sounds great in theory, in practice, it can be tough to pull off. But there are ways you can make the task easier. For toddlers and preschoolers, the key is making them feel like an important part of the church community.
Encourage your child to be involved in the service. Let her hold the hymnbook and put the money in the collection plate. In the week before the service, learn some of the songs you'll be singing on Sunday so she can sing along. Sit in the front row so your child can see what's going on and you can explain to her what's happening. If she feels welcome and loved in church, she'll have a more positive view of worship, and that can last all the way to adulthood.
Remember, though, to have realistic expectations for your young children. No 2-year-old will sit quietly for an hour, so you'll need to find ways to keep him occupied. The First Baptist Church of Ellisville makes "worship bags" for its little ones filled with crayons, coloring pages, and other quiet activities. If your church doesn't have something similar, put one together yourself.
Include stickers, books, and a small snack. Help your child decorate the bag and pick a special place at home to keep it during the week. You can make the bag extra exciting by telling your child that the bag is especially for church.
Older children get bored more quickly, so helping them enjoy church means keeping them occupied. The worship bag (or backpack) idea still works for elementary kids with a few adjustments. Some churches provide kids' bulletins filled with word searches and other worksheets that make good additions to a worship bag.
If you want to go a step further, you, your pastor, or a group of volunteer parents could make worksheets that use words and ideas from each week's readings or theme. Or come up with your own unique idea using the talents of your congregation. Carlson says at his previous parish, a member who was an artist made coloring books with drawings that depicted areas of their church. This gave parents an opportunity to teach their kids about the physical structure of the church, while giving the children something constructive to do during the service.
The Other Six DaysDon't limit your prep work to Sunday morning. Talk about church throughout the week and tell your children about any special symbols or rituals that will be present the coming Sunday. Or consider creating a prayer table at home that displays items that coincide with the church's calendar, such as a nativity scene or Easter eggs. It will take a little time to educate yourself, but one of the benefits of teaching your children about faith is that you're forced to learn a lot in the process.
Children of all ages learn a great deal by repeating what they've heard. Toddlers and preschoolers like playing "pretend church." Let your 3-year-old pretend she's the pastor or choir director or mommy to her stuffed animals (she might love teaching them to be quiet).
For older children, Deb Bradley, the mother of three children who directs the religious education program for children at her church, offers this tip. "If there is someone you know well who doesn't attend church—a spouse, a homebound grandparent, a good friend, or neighbor you see on Sundays—give your child the job of telling that person what happened in church and what the message was that day," she says. Your child will feel important about her task, she'll listen better, and you'll get to hear exactly what your son or daughter understood from the service.
Living in the ChurchIt also helps to think of your goal on a bigger scale. Instead of making church a one-hour-a-week commitment, make it a greater part of your family's world. You may want to start a program at the church where families pair up with an elderly person and sit together during the service. (Your child will look forward to seeing "Aunt Rose" each week.) Do community projects through your church, and get involved in church festivals and events. Eventually, your church will feel like a community to your child, and in turn, he'll probably respond to the expectations of that community.
All of these ideas can help get your children involved in worship. But the most crucial step you can take is also the most obvious: make church a joyful ritual. Don't go just because you think you should. Let your children see you prepare for church with enthusiasm. Make sure they hear and see you getting excited about being part of a Christian community. "It's the parents' job to open their children's hearts to God," says the Reverend Tom Walker of Red Wing, Minnesota. "Children learn by repetition, by seeing that Mom and Dad are in church every week."
Brenda Dickel attends church every week with her husband and their 2-year-old daughter, Grace. She says, "It's true that it's hard having children in church with you. But not having them there is hard, too. My daughter is a part of our family and when she's missing, part of the foundation of our family is missing. I don't like being in church without her."
I feel the same way, and now I'm re-energized to continue teaching my children how to worship. Slowly I'm seeing progress. Elise loves to sing the songs in church and she gently quiets Jonah when he's getting noisy. I hope that in time, both my children will be attentive not only to the service, but also to the basic virtues of their faith. For me, that's worth a few Cheerios in the pews.
Michelle Leise is a writer and the mother of two. She and her family live in Minnesota
Most of the time, we're willing to go through this inconvenience because it's important to us that we worship as a family. But some weeks I find myself thinking, Maybe we should give up and start shipping them to the nursery.
To help me decide if our efforts to keep our kids in church are worth it, I talked to parents, pastors, and religious educators for their opinions. They were unanimous. "One of the most important parts of parenting is teaching your children how to worship," says Georgene Burt, minister of child education at First Baptist Church of Ellisville, Missouri. "It's hard sometimes, especially if you have a child who's very active. You may even have to realize that you're not going to get very much out of the service. But, remember, like everything else, this stage, too, will pass."
Some Christian educators believe that including children in the worship service is more than just a nice idea; it's essential to their spiritual development. Myra Arnold, who teaches religion to 2- to 6-year-olds at Messiah Episcopal Church in St. Paul, Minnesota, says, "Jesus intended for us to bring children into this celebration. Being part of the community of faith is the basis of us being able to live a Christian life, and children are a part of that community. The 2 1/2-year-olds I teach love church. That seems to be the beginning of their sensitivity to spiritual things."
Even if we firmly believe that our children should participate in the worship service, we often worry about what other people will think. But according to Eric Carlson, pastor of First Lutheran Church in Stoughton, Wisconsin, that's a worry we can let go of. "It may be distracting [for other parishioners] to hear a baby cry or a toddler say something," he says. "But remember that Jesus welcomed the little ones. I often think of the time the custodian told me that it looked like it had been a great Sunday morning because there were so many Cheerios in the pews. He was right."
Making Family Worship WorkWhile worshiping as a family sounds great in theory, in practice, it can be tough to pull off. But there are ways you can make the task easier. For toddlers and preschoolers, the key is making them feel like an important part of the church community.
Encourage your child to be involved in the service. Let her hold the hymnbook and put the money in the collection plate. In the week before the service, learn some of the songs you'll be singing on Sunday so she can sing along. Sit in the front row so your child can see what's going on and you can explain to her what's happening. If she feels welcome and loved in church, she'll have a more positive view of worship, and that can last all the way to adulthood.
Remember, though, to have realistic expectations for your young children. No 2-year-old will sit quietly for an hour, so you'll need to find ways to keep him occupied. The First Baptist Church of Ellisville makes "worship bags" for its little ones filled with crayons, coloring pages, and other quiet activities. If your church doesn't have something similar, put one together yourself.
Include stickers, books, and a small snack. Help your child decorate the bag and pick a special place at home to keep it during the week. You can make the bag extra exciting by telling your child that the bag is especially for church.
Older children get bored more quickly, so helping them enjoy church means keeping them occupied. The worship bag (or backpack) idea still works for elementary kids with a few adjustments. Some churches provide kids' bulletins filled with word searches and other worksheets that make good additions to a worship bag.
If you want to go a step further, you, your pastor, or a group of volunteer parents could make worksheets that use words and ideas from each week's readings or theme. Or come up with your own unique idea using the talents of your congregation. Carlson says at his previous parish, a member who was an artist made coloring books with drawings that depicted areas of their church. This gave parents an opportunity to teach their kids about the physical structure of the church, while giving the children something constructive to do during the service.
The Other Six DaysDon't limit your prep work to Sunday morning. Talk about church throughout the week and tell your children about any special symbols or rituals that will be present the coming Sunday. Or consider creating a prayer table at home that displays items that coincide with the church's calendar, such as a nativity scene or Easter eggs. It will take a little time to educate yourself, but one of the benefits of teaching your children about faith is that you're forced to learn a lot in the process.
Children of all ages learn a great deal by repeating what they've heard. Toddlers and preschoolers like playing "pretend church." Let your 3-year-old pretend she's the pastor or choir director or mommy to her stuffed animals (she might love teaching them to be quiet).
For older children, Deb Bradley, the mother of three children who directs the religious education program for children at her church, offers this tip. "If there is someone you know well who doesn't attend church—a spouse, a homebound grandparent, a good friend, or neighbor you see on Sundays—give your child the job of telling that person what happened in church and what the message was that day," she says. Your child will feel important about her task, she'll listen better, and you'll get to hear exactly what your son or daughter understood from the service.
Living in the ChurchIt also helps to think of your goal on a bigger scale. Instead of making church a one-hour-a-week commitment, make it a greater part of your family's world. You may want to start a program at the church where families pair up with an elderly person and sit together during the service. (Your child will look forward to seeing "Aunt Rose" each week.) Do community projects through your church, and get involved in church festivals and events. Eventually, your church will feel like a community to your child, and in turn, he'll probably respond to the expectations of that community.
All of these ideas can help get your children involved in worship. But the most crucial step you can take is also the most obvious: make church a joyful ritual. Don't go just because you think you should. Let your children see you prepare for church with enthusiasm. Make sure they hear and see you getting excited about being part of a Christian community. "It's the parents' job to open their children's hearts to God," says the Reverend Tom Walker of Red Wing, Minnesota. "Children learn by repetition, by seeing that Mom and Dad are in church every week."
Brenda Dickel attends church every week with her husband and their 2-year-old daughter, Grace. She says, "It's true that it's hard having children in church with you. But not having them there is hard, too. My daughter is a part of our family and when she's missing, part of the foundation of our family is missing. I don't like being in church without her."
I feel the same way, and now I'm re-energized to continue teaching my children how to worship. Slowly I'm seeing progress. Elise loves to sing the songs in church and she gently quiets Jonah when he's getting noisy. I hope that in time, both my children will be attentive not only to the service, but also to the basic virtues of their faith. For me, that's worth a few Cheerios in the pews.
Michelle Leise is a writer and the mother of two. She and her family live in Minnesota
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